64 Funny Quotes About Aging

As we age, it’s essential to maintain our sense of humor about this whole getting older thing.

Fortunately, there are plenty of hilarious quotes about getting older that remind us to embrace the inevitable changes that come with age. 

These hilarious getting older quotes we’ve together cover everything from the joys of retirement to the struggles of forgetfulness. 

I think you’ll enjoy the lighthearted perspective on aging that’s sure to bring a smile to your face. 

They remind us that we’re not alone on this journey and that a good laugh is often the best medicine.

Take a gander at these witty quotes on aging and watch your worries disappear.

Turns out that laughter is the best wrinkle cream!

Funny Quotes About Aging Gracefully

1. “Age is just a number. In my case, a really high one.” – Unknown

2. “I’m not aging, I’m marinating.” – Unknown

3. “I don’t feel old, I just look like I do.” – Unknown

funny quotes on aging
4. “You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.” – George Burns

5. “Age is just a number, and in my case, it’s an unlisted one.” – Unknown

6. “I’m not old, I’m just chronologically gifted.” – Unknown

7. “I’m aging like a fine wine, or maybe I’m just whining.” – Unknown

8. “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic.” – Unknown

9. “Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese or a wine, but even then it’s only a suggestion.” – Unknown

10. “I’m not old, I’m just getting a little closer to my expiration date.” – Unknown

11. “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” – Walt Disney

12. “I’m not old, I’m just well-seasoned.” – Unknown

13. “Age is a high price to pay for maturity.” – Tom Stoppard

14. “I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a limited edition.” – Unknown

15. “Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.” – Unknown

16. “Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.” – George William Curtis

17. “I’m not aging, I’m evolving.” – Unknown

funny quotes on aging
18. “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t committed.” – Anthony Powell

19. “Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art” – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Funny Quotes About Getting Older and Wiser

20. “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” – George Burns

21. “The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. Therefore, the older I get, the more I enjoy life.” – Ellen DeGeneres

22. “As you get older, three things happen: the first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom

23. “The longer you live, the more you realize that nothing is truly impossible.” – American author and motivational speaker Unknown

24. “With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.” – Irish playwright and author Oscar Wilde

25. “The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – American statesman and lawyer Abraham Lincoln

26. “Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength.” – American feminist writer and activist Betty Friedan

27. “Aging is not for the faint of heart.” – American actress and comedian Unknown

28. “Wisdom comes with winters.” – Irish playwright and author Oscar Wilde

29. “The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.” – American actor Jerry M. Wright

30. “The greatest gift of life is maturity, the ability to see things in a new light.” – American author and poet Unknown

Funny Old Man Quotes

31. “Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.” – Unknown

32. “As a man grows older, his habits grow younger.” – John Steinbeck

33. “The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.” – Unknown

funny quotes on aging
34. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Jack Benny

35. “Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.” – Pope John XXIII

36. “A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” – John Barrymore

37. “Old age is the most unexpected of all things that can happen to a man.” – Leon Trotsky

38. “The older I get, the better I was.” – Unknown

39. “An old man is twice a child.” – William Shakespeare

40. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re aboard, there’s nothing you can do.” – Golda Meir

41. “A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.” – Yiddish Proverb

42. “When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez

funny quotes on aging
43. “Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” – Groucho Marx

44. “The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Unknown

45. “The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.” – English Proverb

Funny Old Woman Quotes

46. “The older I get, the more I see that life is about what you give, not what you get.” – Ellen Goodman

47. “As I get older, I realize that the thing I value the most is good-heartedness.” – Ellen Burstyn

48. “The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. Self-knowledge has no end.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

49. “As I get older, the things that I want are starting to make more sense. I don’t want to be in crazy, intense relationships because it wears me out.” – Selena Gomez

50. “I think as you get older, you realize that the thing that you really value is the written word — because it stays.” – Kate Atkinson

funny quotes on aging
51. “The older I get, the more I realize that the only way to say valuable things is to lose your fear of being correct.” – Muriel Rukeyser

52. “I find the older I get, the more I cherish what I call ‘the honesty of experience’ – moments of being as true to oneself as possible.” – Dawn French.

53. “Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.” – Jennifer Yane

54. “Old age is not for sissies.” – Bette Davis

55. “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” – Joan Collins

56. “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.” – Betty White

57. “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese or a wine.” – Helen Mirren

58. “The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.” – Frank Lloyd Wright

59. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” — Woody Allen

60. “You know you’re getting old when happy hour is a nap.” – Unknown

Funny Senior Citizen Quotes

61. “As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.” – Robert Quillen

62. “Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” – Luis Bunuel

63. “Age is not how old you are, but how many years of fun you’ve had.” – Matt Maldre

64. “The trick is growing up without growing old.” – Casey Stengel

Final thoughts

We’ve come to the end of the road with these fun and humorous quotes about aging. If you’re over 55, then you already know that getting older ain’t for sissies.

But there is one thing we can do to make this long journey a little more bearable and that’s to find the humor in it all. I mean, who needs Botox when you can just laugh at your wrinkles?

So, let’s all raise a cocktail glass (or a pill bottle) to aging gracefully, or at least trying to. I hope you had some laughs while reading these quotes.

Finally, be sure to remember, you’re not getting older, you’re getting closer to retirement (if you’re not there already).